Issue 102 - Leadership Lessons from Retirement Parties
I went to a retirement party last night. Since leaving corporate America 20 years ago, the invitations I have received to such events have been few and far between. However, last night was different.
For more than two years now, I have been privileged to serve as an outside Director for a bank in my community. Recently, one of the bank’s Vice Presidents announced his retirement after 27 years of service. The other directors and I were invited to join the bank’s staff as they gathered for a dinner in honor of their retiring colleague.
It was a fun evening. I watched and listened as the honoree’s co-workers shared a compilation of three decade’s worth of stories and fond remembrances. There was plenty of laughter and a few tears of heartfelt gratitude.
As I sat quietly watching the event play out, I found my mind wandering backwards in time, coincidentally, almost 27 years, to the very first retirement dinner I ever attended.
I was working my first real job out of college as a young Human Resources supervisor at a large manufacturing company. My boss called me into his office one day and gave me an interesting assignment.
He advised me that one of the plant’s senior supervisors was retiring after more than 30 years of company service. As a tribute, his department was planning a retirement dinner in his honor. My boss went on to tell me that a presentation needed to be made by some representative of the Human Resources department and that I had been chosen for the task. However, I was also reminded that my role was a minor one. When called on, I was instructed to get up, share the gift, shut up and sit down and do it all as quickly as possible.
The evening arrived. The turnout was good. The mood was festive. With the dinner complete, the festivities began. Those of us with official duties fulfilled them in short order. With our gifts and flowery sentiments appropriately bestowed, we took our seats so the real fun could begin…the roast.
One after another, the honoree’s closest friends rose to share 30 years worth of stories and remembrances, all meant to nudge, cajole and embarrass, good-naturedly of course, their long time friend and colleague. And no one laughed longer or louder than the man of the hour.
Finally, as the makeshift roast wound down to its logical conclusion, the time came for the honoree himself to make some comments. As expected he began by getting a few well-placed barbs in at the expense of those close friends who had roasted him. But, soon, his attention turned in a somewhat unexpected direction. His poignant comments still ring clear in my memory all these many years later.
“Thank you so much for this evening,” he began. “I really appreciate your efforts to remind me of many things I had spent the past 30 years trying to forget,” he said with a broad grin. Chuckles could be heard throughout the room. He then paused ever so briefly, before continuing with a more seriousness demeanor.
“As much fun as this evening has been, I must admit that it’s a bittersweet experience for me. ‘Sweet’ in that I am surrounded tonight by many of the best friends I have in this world. ‘Bitter’ though, because I know that after tonight we simply won’t have reason to see each other as often. We all know that time and distance can change relationships.”
He paused briefly, and then added, almost wistfully, “As pleased as I am that all of you are here, there is one person who I really wish could have been here to share this evening with me.” A longer pause. Then looking directly at the audience, he said, “I wish Buster was here.” Around the room heads began to nod.
I never met Buster. But I and most of the others present that evening, knew Buster, a long time company supervisor, at least by reputation. By the time I joined the company, Buster, had retired and then a few years later, passed away. But, his memory still cast a long shadow throughout the plant, especially with the more senior employees. Years after his departure, it was not uncommon to hear the senior employees mention his name in conversation, always with a reverent tone. The positive impression he had made during his time with the company had proven to be a lasting one.
The retiring honoree continued. “Many of you remember Buster. What you might not know though is that Buster was the one who hired me 30 years ago…he was my first supervisor here. And what I’m sure you don’t know is that 29 years ago today, on my first anniversary with this company, Buster went to the trouble of looking me up. When he found me, he pulled me aside, put his arm around my shoulder, looked me square in my eyes and told me something that I have never forgotten. Buster said, ‘Son, congratulations! You’ve been here a year now. That’s quite an ccomplishment. We both know this ain’t an easy place to work. A lot of people just can’t cut it here. They don’t have what it takes. But you do. Not only that, but I’ve been watching you and I’m convinced you’ve got a great career ahead of you. The sky’s the limit for you. I only hope I can hang around here long enough to see all the good things you will do for this company in the years to come and all that good things that happen to you as a result.’ Yeah, I wish Buster was here to share this experience with us.”
The room went totally silent. Everyone seemed to be caught in a moment of reflection. As for me, I specifically remember thinking, I wonder how many people this guy must have met in his 30 years with this company? It has to be thousands. And how many conversations has he had with the people that he’s met? Tens of thousands? So, what made him think of Buster and that one conversation just now?
Conclusion
My first retirement dinner took place almost 27 years ago. Since that time, my business interactions have allowed me the opportunity of meeting tens of thousands of people and to have hundreds of thousands of conversations with people from all around the world. Yet, I still remember clearly that single evening and I still remember that retiree’s comments regarding his first supervisor, Buster.
Here’s what I’ve learned. People remember other people and their leaders in particular, based on how those leaders make them feel…good or bad. Do you doubt that comment? If so, take a minute to consider your own experiences.
Can you remember the little league baseball coach that praised your performance even though you popped up to the pitcher—because “at least you swung the bat?” Can you also remember some other coach screaming, “I knew you wouldn’t get a hit,” when you struck out leaving the tying run stranded on third base?
I’ll bet you remember, in vivid detail the teacher that praised your work on that science project, suggesting out loud that you might just be a scientist some day. But you also can’t erase from your memory that one particular English teacher that advised you to go to vocational school, not believing you to be smart enough to graduate from college, because you had difficulty diagramming complex sentence structures.
Finally, do you remember a “Buster” in your work life, bragging on your record of solid performance, a record that everyone else was totally oblivious to? Or do you remember instead, a “dream-buster” telling you that you would never get ahead in this company because you are (pick one) male/female, too young/too old, black/white/red/yellow/a combination, too fast/too slow/, too pretty/too ugly, too dumb, and so on?
Regardless your age, I’m willing to bet the people you remember most clearly are the ones that made you feel the best about yourself and, conversely, the ones that made you feel the worst about yourself.
That night, at that retirement dinner long ago, I realized we all have the opportunity to build the memories that others will have of us in days to come. Buster apparently had been one of those persons committed to developing the people in his life. That night, I decided I wanted to be remembered as a “Buster,” an encourager.
What about you? When people who have and will work for you retire, how will they remember you? If that question matters to you, it’s time to start working on that result right now.
If you want some helpful suggestions on getting the most from those you lead, take a look at my article entitled, “Commandments for Leaders.”
