When communicating, what if…

• People respond differently than you hoped or   predicted?
• People become too emotional?
• People resist your communication efforts?

After considering these and other “What if…?” questions for a while, I came to the realization that none of us can predict with certainty what the outcome of any communication effort ultimately will be. We can know what we want the outcome to be. We can know what we have planned the outcome to be. We can even know what we have intentionally worked for the outcome to be. But in the end, we simply don’t control all the variables.

It was then that the sixth communication principle came into focus for me. I realized that whatever happens in the course of our communication efforts, good or bad, the people who are depending on us still expect us to do our jobs.

It is human nature to be drawn to those activities that excite us, inspire us and fulfill us. But life and work is not always exciting, inspiring and fulfilling. Sometimes you are called to rise above that which you wish you could avoid completely. All of your personal and professional activities can be enhanced as well if you simply commit yourself to doing your job and doing it at the highest level possible.

Here are three ideas on how to get better.

1.  When Doing Your Job…Strive to Become a Better Communicator

One way to become a better communicator is happening for you at this very moment-you’re reading and studying. Though reading this book or others is no guarantee that you will be ordained the next great communicator. It is, however, a wonderful step in the right direction. Self-study serves to prepare the mind and will for greater future accomplishment.

My intention here is not to burden you with a suggested reading list as long as your arm. If you are really interested in more reading materials related to communication skills enhancement, fifteen minutes spent in your local library, bookstore or online will provide you dozens of options. I will suggest one book in particular though that I think can be helpful to anyone at any stage of their life or career. Secure a copy today of Dale Carnegie’s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People. You won’t be sorry. It hasn’t sold millions of copies over the past sixty plus years by accident.

Remember, reading is great, but doing is better. If your desire is to be a better oral communicator, I highly recommend you enroll in one or both of the following. Dale Carnegie courses are available in every major city as are Toastmasters International clubs. Both are dedicated to helping develop the skills of those who wish to communicate orally with more confidence and expertise. I can assure you both will be money and time well spent.

2. When Doing Your Job…Work to Exceed Expectations

One of my mantras for life is “do more than is expected.” I have discovered that if you are constantly doing more than is expected, you will never again have to worry about evaluations, regardless of the form or fashion they might take.

As this concept applies to enhancing our communication skills, I suggest you look around and take inventory of the expectations people have of the various communicators in their life. If you are a teacher, pay close attention to other teachers and students. If you are a manager, pay close attention to other managers and employees. If you are a parent, pay close attention to other parents and children. If you are a member of the clergy, pay close attention to other spiritual shepherds and their flocks. Watch and listen. Gather up all the good ideas you can unearth and incorporate them into your communication “bag of tricks.” At the same time, notice the communication gaps that exist and that people are talking about. Then do everything you can to make sure you are not guilty of the same.

One other thing. Don’t wait for your boss, your spouse, your parent, your client or anyone else to challenge you to exceed their expectations. It probably won’t happen. Remember, they aren’t expecting much. The opportunity always exists for you to give them more.

3. When Doing Your Job…Never Give Up

I will make this last point short and sweet. Don’t you dare give up! Don’t ever allow yourself to be lured into thinking that your effort toward developing your interpersonal communication skills means little. Communicating person-to-person means everything. Where a communication void exists, rumors, assumptions, half-truths and perceptions creep in to fill it. There is no need for that to happen.

A quick recap of the six strategies for becoming a great communicator:

1.  Talk “with” people.
2.  Explain the process.
3.  Tell the truth.
4.  Work for understanding.
5.  Get others involved.
6.  Do your job.

A detailed discussion of each of these principles is available in my book, We Need to Talk.  The book is available at Amazon.com and on my website. If you are interested in discounts for volume purchases, please check the pricing details here.