Consider the following ways to work for understanding.

When Working for Understanding…Check the Pulse

There is always a right time and a wrong time, a right place and a wrong place, a right way and a wrong way to communicate. Great communicators are the ones who have come to realize that with successful interpersonal communication “one size does not fit all.” As a result they work to fashion a tailored, customized communication message for those who will be receiving it. To accomplish this, proactive communicators need to have their finger on the pulse of those who will be impacted (positively or negatively) by the communication offered.

Here are some questions to consider as you formulate the specific message to be conveyed.

• What are the key issues s/he is currently facing that can impact the reaction or response?
• Has s/he ever heard or dealt with this type of message before?
• If so, how has s/he reacted to it?
• How does this person handle good/bad news?
• What kind of things have we dealt with together in the past that could resurface (for good or bad) during our time of communication?

When Working for Understanding…Anticipate and Manage the Barriers

A major part of good one-on-one communication is being able to anticipate and manage the numerous barriers that continuously crop up throughout any focused communication effort. Consider the following categories of barriers and the proactive suggestions offered to avoid them.

Sender Barriers

• Intention. Any successful journey begins with a well-defined itinerary. Communication is no different. The originators of the communication-the senders-need to be crystal clear on the intention of the communication to follow. 

• Preparation. Once the intention is clear, the preparation must follow. Consciously prepare for who you will be speaking with, what you want to accomplish and how best to present your ideas or information so that they can be well-received by your intended audience.

• Singular Focus. So as not to confuse those to whom our message will be delivered, the primary focus must remain clear and uncluttered. Focus on the “first things first.” Don’t try to cover too much ground or mix too many varying messages. It confuses the receiver of the communication. 

• Timeliness. As the originator and sender of the message, do everything in your power to align and deliver the message in a timely fashion. A message received well in advance of its application is soon mentally discarded and forgotten. A messaged received too late is looked on with disdain.

• Opportunity to Vent. There is an emotional element to almost every message. As the originator of that message, it is imperative that you recognize that emotions and personal feelings are to be acknowledged and dealt with. As such, allowing receivers an opportunity to vent their thoughts and emotions adds to the value of the communication process.

• Accept Responsibility. As the sender of the communication, if and when you fail in some area of the communication process, be willing to accept responsibility for your failure quickly and publicly. Receivers will be much more apt to forgive and move forward when they recognize that you are accepting responsibility for your mistakes.

Message Barriers

• Isolate the Problem. Well meaning communication can often go awry when the intended message strays from the problem to the person. Expert communicators have learned to isolate the problem and separate it from the people involved.

• Procrastination. On those occasions when it becomes necessary to communicate a message that is expected to be received negatively, too many communicators shrink from the challenge. They hope there will be a “better time” for such communication. Remember, “bad news does not get better with time.” Don’t procrastinate-communicate!• Communicate Expectations. Any message can be misconstrued if it remains unclear as to what is expected to happen next. As the originator of the communication, it is your responsibility to conclude every exchange with your own personal “call to action.” Make sure every person knows what is expected of them from that point forward.Environmental Barriers

• Appropriate Time. As a general rule, if you are communicating a message that will be well-received and roundly supported, it is better to share that information as early in the day, the week, the month as possible. The positive buzz can have a desirable after-effect on others.

• Privacy Matters. On the other hand, if you expect a message you are called to communicate might have a negative backlash, plan to communicate that message out of the sight of prying eyes and ears. It is better to deal with unpredictable emotions in private.

• Shut Down the “Grapevine.” Most organizations have some sort of informal, internal communication “grapevine” that too often dispenses rumors, speculation, innuendo and half-truths. Expert communicators can virtually shut down such grapevine communication by becoming known as the repository for dependable communication. Be proactive in making people’s unknowns-known.

When Working for Understanding…Inspect What You Expect

Even the best planned, best prepared and best delivered message can, on occasion, be misconstrued unintentionally. But how can you know that, short of waiting for the whole issue to blow up in your face at a later time and place? You can always “test your message.”

It’s fairly simple. Here’s what you do. Once you have communicated your intended message to the appropriate individual, before parting company you ask the following question, “I realize that I am not always the best communicator. I’m trying to get better. But, what we have just talked about is so important that I want to make sure that I have not done anything to confuse the message. Will you please tell me what you heard me say and what you know I am expecting as a result of our conversation today?”

Once you have asked this question, I suggest you stop and listen carefully to what is retold. Notice in the question above, I have worked hard to put the burden on the sender, not on the receiver of the message (i.e., “…I am not always the best communicator. I’m trying to get better…I want to make sure I have not done anything to confuse the message.”) Therefore, if, in the repeating of the message back to you, the receiver gets something in message wrong, be sure to accept the blame for the confusion. Example: “Did I say that you have $5,000 in your budget for the next quarter? Oh my, I meant to say $500. Thanks for catching my mistake. That could have been disastrous.”

In a nutshell, working for understanding always takes work–but it can also bear great results.

Principle 5 next time - Get Others Involved.

A detailed discussion of “working for understanding” is available in my new book, We Need to Talk: Building Trust When Communicating Gets Critical. 

We Need to Talk is available at Amazon.com and on my website.

If you are interested in discounts for volume purchases, please check the pricing details here.

One of the best ways to get others involved is by asking a fairly open-ended question such as, “What would you like to see happen from this point forward?” or “If you had your way what direction would you have us go and why?”

Not everyone will immediately embrace personal involvement. However, some will. And when they do choose to respond to the type of question offered above, it is very easy then to move to the next step. The next step involves extending a personal invitation to become more personally involved in the actions to be taken or decisions to be made.

How many people around you are waiting for this invitation? Probably more than you think. But, you’ll never know for sure unless you ask.

When Getting Others Involved…Be Specific

When offering the chance to get others involved, too often the tendency is to leave the activity open-ended. That’s a bad idea. Few people will reach blindly into a bag unless they have some idea what is in that bag already. Not knowing creates fear, anxiety and hesitancy.

It’s much better to tell people specifically what they are getting into and what is expected of them. As it relates to communication, specificity rules!

When Getting Others Involved…Recognize Success

Once you are successful in getting others more actively involved, there is one more key activity that should not be overlooked. Catch people doing things right and recognize their successes in every way possible.

It takes courage to step out on faith and to take on additional responsibility. Over time, the more involved people become, the more communicative they become. Fewer problems occur when people are talking to one another. So, we should be doing all that is within our power to keep people talking.

Show people what success looks like. Trumpet the successes that you are observing. Don’t wait for huge, “front page news” successes. Be just as quick to acknowledge and highlight the “look, we’ve made a little progress” successes, too.

The personal involvement of others is a skill not easily mastered, but one that can pay significant future dividends.

The last of the six principles next time - Do Your Job.

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Understanding how to explain the process begins with understanding your overall communication objectives. Knowing what your objectives are before you begin significantly lessens the chances that you will falter in your communication efforts. Is your objective to:

• convey
• request
• educate
• defend
• question
• or confirm?

When Explaining the Process, Know What Others Sense. Communication is not only a verbal experience, in a very real sense it is also sensory in nature. People pride themselves on their ability to “read” other people. People evaulate their “gut feel” regarding messages they receive from others. People are always on the lookout for “a connection,” “kindred spirits” and their “soul mate.” There are at least six universal things people can “sense” from our words and the manner in which we deliver them.

• People can sense how we feel.
• People can sense if we like them or not.
• People can sense if we’re glad to be there.
• People can sense if we’ve memorized our comments.
• People can sense if we’re lying.
• People can sense if we’re trying to sell them something.
• And people can sense if we’re sincere.

When Explaining the Process, Anticipate Key Questions. Let’s face it, many of us are suspicious by nature. When someone starts explaining the process to us, we start trying to read between the lines. We wonder about a number of things. And until we have acceptable answers to questions that concern us, we will not be able to fully accept the communication effort as being legitimate. However, satisfy us with answers to our most pressing questions and we will value you as being the great communicator you are.

Consider these common questions people have and be ready with an answer to their questions.

• Is this really going to do any good?
• Is it possible that I could be hurt as a result of what happens?
• Should I get involved personally or just watch and wait to see what happens?
• What is the real motivation behind what I am seeing and hearing?
• Will this have a negative effect on my relationship, position, etc?
• Will this cause more problems than it is worth?

We should never assume that others know what we are up to, even those closest to us. We may think that choosing to avoid these “unnecessary” explanations up front will save us time in the process. What we don’t consider is that sooner or later we are sure to end up explaining the process anyway — what we did, how it was done and why we did it. If the process is explained before action is taken, most people are still open to listening and learning. However, if explanations are offered after action has been taken, many people will already be dealing with the frustration brought on by what they see as your insufficient communication approach.

Good communicators are like magnets.  They draw people to themselves.

Like it or not, we are all measured to one degree or another by our ability as interpersonal communicators.  The more effective our communication skills, the more effective we can become in every aspect of our lives.  So, a couple of logical questions naturally follow, “How can I attract people by my ability to communicate?  How can I effectively learn to talk with people? 

Earn Their Trust by Taking Responsibility. The heart of any trust relationship is the belief that the person I am choosing to trust is willing to accept responsibility for his or her actions.  Therefore, to have others trust our ability as a communicator means we must readily take responsibility for making the communication effort successful, regardless the potential obstacles. 

Show Genuine Concern. Genuine concern cannot be faked.  Genuine concern is never established by casually talking about, talking around, talking behind, talking over or talking down to someone else.  Genuine concern can only be fostered by talking with an individual and thereby learning more about his unique circumstance—his needs, wants, desires, hopes, dreams, fears, failures, anxieties, and so on.  From this position of understanding comes the empathy necessary to connect emotionally. 

Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn. Effective listening is a formidable task that too few of us ever master.  But learning to be an effective listener is not impossible.  Practical listening skills include:  being patient, attentive and looking directly at the other person while he or she is speaking; striving not to interrupt unnecessarily; asking questions to clarify what is being said; showing empathy by fashioning questions that deal with the other person’s feelings; not changing the subject until all parties are ready to do so; and remaining poised and emotionally controlled throughout the communication.  The practical application and development of these listening habits ultimately allow us to listen and learn with greater effectiveness. 

Principle #2, Explain the Process, next time.

1. Understand clearly what you are expected to decide.

2. Reconfirm the ultimate objective. Ask for the timeframe for making this decision.

3. Clarify your personal responsibilities.

4. Get as much background information as possible.

5. Research the history of the problem. Be aware of past precedents.

6. Understand the personalities and temperaments of the individuals involved.

7. Ask for help.

• Call on your associates for their input, especially those with more professional experience in such matters.

• Talk through your personal concerns with someone you respect, but who is not involved in the matter.

8. Conduct a personal “attitude check.”

• Honestly acknowledge any personal biases or prejudices that could affect your decision making integrity.

• Let your emotions subside before deciding anything of consequence.

9. Catalog all possible decisions.

• List each potential decision that is available to you.

• Consider the “worst case/best case” consequences of each decision.

10. Communicate your decision carefully.

• Anticipate as many questions and concerns as possible, then address them openly and forthrightly.

• Be willing to listen honestly to well-founded criticism of your final decision.

Once you have worked through these steps, you will possess information critical to making a sound decision. My colleague, Nido Qubein, president of High Point University and chairman of the Great Harvest Bread Company, offers these four additional questions to consider when making an important decision:

1. What is the best thing that can happen if I make this decision?

2. What is the worst thing that can happen?

3. What is the most likely thing to happen?

4. Am I willing to live with the worst to get to the best?

KE:  How can you correlate customer service to customer retention?

PVH:  In this day and time, customers have options and they know it. It’s no longer a world in which we just reference the local yellow pages or word of mouth for service options. Now they can choose to do business across town, across the country or around the world.

But most people would prefer not to change. And the old refrain still holds true: People DO like to do business with people they know and like.

I remember a former CEO of an automotive parts company stating definitively, “I have never made a dollar off of business I did not have.” Long term profits come in serving and retaining our established customer base over time.

KE: How can/should a company motivate staff to deliver excellent customer service?

PVH: There are several short term options that many organization have experimented with…service contests, awards, recognition programs. But, a better way is to establish a culture of service throughout the organization by making excellent customer service a performance standard to which every employee is held accountable.

Inspect what you expect…and hold people accountable for doing what is expected of them.

KE: How have you been able to reinforce customer satisfaction in the minds of your frontline supervisors and staff?

PVH: Show them the difference they are making by showing them the positive results of their efforts.

KE: What are the 3 things EVERY company or organization should do to improve customer service?

PVH: In my book, Willie’s Way: 6 Secrets for Wooing, Wowing and Winning Customers and Their Loyalty, I actually identify 6 things that every organization and every individual can do to improve customer service. The 6 secrets are:

1. Acknowledge the customer - immediately!
2. Redefine routine activities to create a customized service experience.
3. Give the customer your undivided attention.
4. Listen, think and use common sense.
5. Bend the rules, sometimes.
6. Make the last few seconds count.

KE: What do you feel should be the goal — customer service or retention?

PVH: I believe in the philosophy, “take care of the little (or immediate) things and the big (or future) things will take care of themselves.” BUT, if you don’t take care of the little things, they grow and fester to the point that they become the big issues that we may not be able to control.

In other words, focus on servicing the customer while you can, and worry about the retention issue later. Give them a compelling reason to keep coming back and they will.

KE: What is the best or most valued way to nuture customer relationships?

PVH: Take the approach that you are doing business with one customer at a time. Do everything in your power to make every interaction — every sales call, every email, every personal visit, every complaint received — count towards building that relationship.

KE:  What are the top two things that are most important to customers today?

PVH:  I have no idea — because I don’t know your customers and I don’t think any two customers are exactly alike. Our time would be better spent determining what the customer says is most important and then working diligently to meet and exceed those expectations. 

KE: How should you go about stratifying customers for service levels? Should you stratify customers? If so, when? If no, why not?

PVH: I think it makes sense to recognize who you’re best customers are and what makes them so — volume of business, profitability, status, influence, long term potential, etc. Pick out who you want to work with, where you want to work with them, how you want to work with them, etc. In my business, I provide a certain amount of preferential consideration to clients that:

• are willing to commit to long term engagements,
• are nearby geographically,
• meet my professional niche,
• and have a flexible schedule.  

For more on Kristina Evey and her customer centric work, please visit centricstrategies.com.

If you haven’t checked into Willie’s Way, please take a minute to watch this brief clip on secret #1 - acknowledging your customers. 

The complete audio interview with Kristina is available here.I believe you’ll find the strategies offered will give you great results in your customer satisfaction, service and retention efforts.

KE: What is the best way to measure customer satisfaction? Do surveys still matter in a Twitter/Facebook/social media world?

PVH: I won’t discount totally the worth of customer surveys to measure service satisfaction levels.  Surveys might not only be valuable, but
completely necessary for some businesses that have limited or even non-existent personal contact with customers.

But for most companies, the best and most reliable method for determining customer satisfaction is the desire and ability to talk to the customer
directly, both at the time of the transaction and again later, after the initial exuberance of the transaction experience has subsided.

As for the current social media movement, personally, I am not ready to concede that social media has significantly changed the way we measure customer satisfaction. It has impacted the way satisfaction is reported in small groups.

KE: What is the #1 reason you feel excellent customer service is not delivered?

PVH: There are a number of symptoms that may give indication of service delivery problems, but most can be traced back to a sense of either
organizational or individual complacency. We become too comfortable, too satisfied or too oblivious to the fact that even good products and services without continuous effort to improve can change for the worse.

KE: What is the first thing that could be done to turn that around?

Force employees at all levels to come face-to-face with the customer. Meet them. Talk with them. Listen to them as they describe in detail what they like, and more importantly, don’t like about your products and/or services. This can (and should) be done with any level of employee.
During my years in manufacturing, our sales force would routinely take key operations employees (fabricators, assemblers, inspectors, etc.) with
them to visit customers. The impact of those visits was felt directly in the information that was fed back to their operations colleagues and
in their future attention to detail in their own workmanship. This firsthand contact with customers provided a better understanding of the why not just the how of their jobs.