I played baseball as a child. But later on in high school and in college I learned about the activity of umpiring baseball; being the decision maker on a field, if you will. Even though I’ve had many challenging situations and circumstances, I also have learned much from those experiences that I was able to apply later in my life to circumstances and situations that I might have faced as a manager, a supervisor, or leader.

One of the things that I am reminded of is the experience that I had relative to my working behind the plate as an umpire. You know, there’s 60 feet 6 inches from the pitcher’s mound to the home plate. That 60 feet 6 inches is the period or the distance from which the pitcher throws the ball and the catcher receives the ball. Once the catcher receives the ball, the umpire’s responsibility is to determine whether it’s a ball or a strike. 

Well, most umpires who have any experience at all know that the ball can pretty much be determined, is it going to be a ball or strike, let’s say 80% of the time when it’s halfway to the plate. The problem is, occasionally in that last half or last third of the flight of the ball, things can happen to the ball. It can dip or it can curve or it can rise. 

So what may have looked like a strike when we first started out, may change its trajectory halfway or two thirds of the way. And if I call it a strike, I may look very foolish because I missed the call. 

Here’s what learned to do to compensate. I call it taking a breath. When the pitch comes, I wait until the pitch is received by the catcher. Then I pause ever so slightly, and I take a breath. Now not literally take a breath, but allow myself the time that it would take to take a breath and in that period of time, I simply ask myself a question. 

Was that a ball, or was that a strike?

Now, as foolish as that may sound, no one else hears me asking that question. The catcher doesn’t hear it, the batter doesn’t hear it. I’m asking the question of myself, but in asking the question it gives me the opportunity to formulate an answer. Yes that was a ball. So I say, “Ball.” Or yes, that was a strike, so I commit publicly, “Strike.” 

Nobody has a question about that. Nobody has a problem. It’s because I pause long enough to take a breath and to consider the alternatives before committing to an ultimate decision. In other words I eliminated the possibility for mistakes simply by pausing long enough to consider all that around me before I made the ultimate decision.

Now, I used this technique as a baseball umpire many times. I used the technique as a manager far more times than even as a baseball umpire. Why? Because I have people walking into my office and asking me questions. I may know where they’re going or at least think I do, but I need to let the whole thing play out. 

Then I need to take a breath, consider all the information I’ve just gathered before over committing myself and ultimately making a poor decision. Because the more I am proactive in listening and responding and the less reactive I am, the more successful I am going to be as a decision maker.

As I said, there’s many places to learn the lessons of leadership. For me, spending time on a baseball diamond was heaven, it was also helpful. Hopefully this has been helpful for you. I share these because  these are lessons that leaders ought to know.

All the best! 

Phillip Van Hooser
phil@vanhooser.com

But before we rush through the holiday, let’s remember that Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time when we stop to take inventory of the many things for which are thankful.  Our grateful spirit should extend past the obvious - roast turkey, pecan pie and football.  Instead, we should seriously consider the opportunities and blessings that we have received and then acknowledge them for what they truly are.

But do we really?  Past experience has taught that we can be “busy” (a good state for most of us) and then we can be “too busy.”  When we get too busy, often we thoughtlessly ignore the more important things (or people) that deserve recognition for what they are and for what they are worth to us.

Case in point. A few years ago I found myself in one of our western U.S. cities preparing to present a full day leadership program.  I arrived early for the session which was being held in that city’s convention center.  So early, in fact, the entire facility seemed to be deserted.

After familiarizing myself with the room in which I would be working, I took the opportunity to make a quick trip to the men’s room.  As I stepped through the restroom door, the smell hit me.  It was immediately noticeable.  But, it was not the type of smell that many of us have come to expect from public restrooms.  No, instead this aroma could be described as being remarkably “fresh and clean.”

I continued in, only to find that the smell was a positive indicator of more good things to come.  The room was spotless!  Now, don’t misunderstand.  It was not adorned with the expensive marble and tile floor and wall coverings that are often found in some of the showplace hotels.  No, this was a public facility.  Its basic construction was of concrete blocks covered with enamel paint.  Nevertheless, the sinks, counter tops, urinals, toilets, floors and walls were so clean it was impossible not to notice. 

As I stood admiring this unexpected phenomenon, I sensed someone’s presence.  In a far corner of the room, I noticed a middle aged man with mop in hand.  Now, I am not the smartest guy around, but I quickly surmised that this gentleman might have something to do with this amazing restroom.  I decided to find out.

“Excuse me, but are you responsibility for cleaning this restroom?”

The man slowly raised his head, while continuing to lean forward on the mop handle.  He looked at me suspiciously.

“Yeah, why?” he responded, with an obvious note of defensiveness in his voice.

“I figured you were.  I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate the clean bathroom.”

The man stared at me in silence for a few seconds, obviously trying to determine my level of sincerity.

“For real?” he finally asked.

“For real” I responded.  “I travel several days a week and end up using other people’s restrooms more than my own.  Too often, they are simply disgusting.  I couldn’t help but notice what a great job you’ve done with this one.  I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it.”

By now, convinced of my sincerity, the man responded by saying something that I will not soon forget.  Looking directly into my eyes, he said, “Thanks, I really appreciate that you noticed.”  Then he added, “Nobody has ever told me that before.”

Once again, I was amazed, but this time for a different reason.  My immediate thought was, “Where is this man’s leader?”

Me, a total stranger, recognizing this man for a job well done was one thing.  But, can you imagine the impact that a similar sentiment would have coming from the lips of his leader?

I encourage you as leaders, during this time of the year when the words “thanks” and “giving” are so commonly heard, to not be so busy that you don’t make the time to publicly acknowledge those followers who, in your heart, you know you are thankful for.

Praise and recognition are two gifts that keep on giving.

“You’re Phillip Van Hooser,” the stranger declared confidently. “An older version of the Phillip Van Hooser I used to know, but I’m sure it’s you. I would recognize that voice anywhere.”

I was both honored and confounded. His face looked vaguely familiar. But I had no idea who I was addressing.

“You’re right. I’m Phillip Van Hooser. But, you have me at a disadvantage,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I don’t recognize you.”

The stranger smiled broadly. “No need to be sorry. It’s understandable. It’s been at least 20 years since we’ve seen each other. And I know with your work you’ve seen a bunch of people since then.”

Eventually, the stranger revealed his identify. I discovered this guy had been part of the very first supervisory training program that I conducted for a Florida manufacturing company way back in 1988. He and about 30 of his supervisory colleagues were “lucky” enough to be on the receiving end of a 37-week, 100+ hour training series led by me-a very enthusiastic, though at that time, unproven trainer.

We spent the next few minutes catching up. Jim told me he was still a supervisor with the same company and was now in his 32nd year. Over the years, the company had faced many challenging times. As a result of acquisitions, recessions, reorganizations, etc., the company had been reduced in size by more than fifty percent. Many of my supervisory students had since left the company-some by choice, some by invitation. However, Jim proudly proclaimed himself one of the “survivors.”

“What’s your secret, Jim?” I asked. “How have you managed to be successful for the last three decades in such a tumultuous business environment?” I asked.

“It’s really very simple,” he declared. “Every day I strive to do the four things my mother told me to do many years ago when I landed my first job.”

“What four things?” I asked.

Jim proceeded to share four simple initiatives that I suggest every leader would do well to emulate.

1) Every day, do what you’re told to do.

We all answer to someone. And ultimately, someone somewhere is being held accountable for the work we are supposed to be doing. The process works better for all involved if we embrace our work assignments with a high level of professionalism and commitment. Whether the task assigned us is critical or mundane; exhilarating or exhausting; visible or anonymous, we should work with an unwavering conviction to do what we are told.

2) Do what you’re told to do, when you’re told to do it.

Nothing is more frustrating or infuriating, than to expect someone to do something, only to discover later that it has not been done within the time constraints that were established. Need an example? Think appliance repair person. You sit at home waiting for hours for the appearance of the repair person because you were told to expect them “sometime between 11:00 and 4:00.” When they never appear-or even call with an explanation-who gets a call from you? Of course, you call their boss and proceed to give that person an ear full. It’s all so unnecessary.

3) Do what you’re told to do, the way you’re told to do it.

Though creativity and imagination are flaunted by many, it’s consistent performance and flawless follow through that pay the bills. We’re instructed to do a job in a particular way not to insult our ingenuity or to restrict our resourcefulness, but because the way we’re told to do it has been proven to work in the past or it is what the customer wanted and was promised. Either way, following the beaten, established path-doing what you’re told to do, the way you’re told to do it-helps avoid the hidden (and unnecessary) hazards of unknown terrain.

4) And while doing what you’re told to do, always strive to make your boss look good.

“Sure, that’s great,” you may be thinking. “But what if I don’t like my boss? Why should I go out of my way to make her look good?” That’s simple. You do so, because she’s still your boss. You wouldn’t want (or appreciate) an employee who did things to make you look bad simply because they didn’t like you personally. So, don’t be that kind of person yourself. Rise above your initial inclinations. Prove your professionalism. Remember, like it or not, the person who exerts more control over your professional future than any other single person is none other than your dear old boss. I’m not much of a gambler, but if you make him/her look good, the Las Vegas odds makers are betting that your professional chances will improve as well. Now that’s risk worth taking.

Principles such as these generally don’t require a lot of further development and/or explanation. You either “get it” or you don’t. Those that “get it” are still reading this. You understand that success-especially leadership success-is always about putting the team and its members-your followers-first.

But, we must also remember that we are in the positions we occupy, enjoying the opportunities made available to us, because someone-usually that person is our boss-believed in us and our ability to lead. They, therefore, opened a door for us to move through. The least we can do is to do our best to make that person look good. How is the best way to make him/her look good? By doing good work ourselves. Nothing reflects better on an individual than to shine a bright light on the fruit of his/her labor.

As for those who just don’t “get it,” well, they stopped reading this a while ago. They were probably the kids that despite their mother’s warning went outside anyway without their head covered-and promptly caught a cold.

Personally, I think Jim-and his mother-are right on target. The right work, done right, in the right way and at the right time is a concept that never goes out of style. Making your boss look good in the process-now that’s something even a mother could love!

Q:  Phil, have you ever had to address performance issues with an employee after they have just experienced a traumatic event, for example, a death in the family?  In your program, one of the barriers to communication that you identified was the working environment.  And you specifically mentioned timing.  Where does compassion for the individual’s circumstances enter into the equation?  Should I wait for some better time to address the performance issues?  

Sooner or later, leaders are certain to experience situations with no clear cut answer.  Unfortunately, not everything a leader must deal with presents itself as being black or white.  The situation outlined in this question clearly falls into one of those dreaded gray areas. 

First, I am quick to counsel leaders to be sensitive to the personal needs of their employees and followers.  To do less can easily, and unnecessarily, create frustration and resentment that is harbored by the employee for months, possibly years, to come.  Leaders should make every practical accommodation to help the individual in question work through their personal difficulties in order to quickly return to their expected level of performance. 

That being said, we can not always pick the perfect time as it relates to addressing critical issues with our followers.  Pressing performance issues can not, and should not, be ignored.  To do so creates the possibility of putting the entire organization, its customers, employees and other stakeholders in a compromising position — a risk not of their own making.  As a recognized leader of the organization, it is our responsibility to take the necessary steps to deal with unsatisfactory performance whenever and wherever we might find it. 

In situations like the one described in this question, my suggestion is to directly approach the individual concerning the performance issue/s in question.  Do not approach in an accusatory manner.  Instead, be straightforward in identifying the problem at hand and then move the conversation as quickly as possible to the problem solving mode.  While searching for problem resolutions, the employee’s current personal difficulties may or may not be factored into the equation.  Each situation will have to be considered on its own merit.  But there should be no question that the ultimate goal and expectation is to correct the performance issue that is being addressed.  Working together to find a mutually acceptable solution should help the individual bear his/her emotional burden. 

While to some the answer might seem to be “wait for the right time – a better time.” My answer calls us to remember this — bad news does not get better with time.

Consider the following progression for empowering employees. The assumption here is that the supervisor is continuously testing and evaluating each individual employee to determine what level of empowerment he or she is capable of assuming successfully on behalf of the organization. The supervisor or manage will ultimately decide the actual readiness of the individual for further empowerment and at what specific level.

Level 1:     
You (the employee) research an assigned activity; you report what you have learned or discovered; but I (the supervisor) will decide what action is to be taken.

This is the most basic level of empowerment.  It is used to determine a baseline for how an individual thinks, prepares, works and communicates. It is most commonly used in evaluating the actual skills of new employees or newly transferred employees. If specific flaws or shortcomings are identified, specific plans for further training and development should be undertaken. If it is determined that the individual meets and exceeds expectations in this area, then the next level of empowerment should be considered. Because of the supervisor’s stated intent to make the final decision, there is no relevant risk assumed by the employee at this stage.

Level 2:     
You research an assigned activity; you report the alternative actions/options that are available; you suggest one for implementation; but I will decide what action is to be taken.Here you are evaluating the mental dexterity and awareness of various decision making options and how relevant or irrelevant they might be for the organization’s specific purposes and intents. As before, there continues to be no relevant risk to the employee since the supervisor has reserved the right to make the decision. If the employee is determined to be ready, the next step in the process is assigned.

Level 3:
You research an assigned activity; you report what you intend to do; but don’t act without my approval.  Notice there is a marked increase in the expectation of performance on the part of the employee. This is the first level at which the employee assumes some specific level of risk. However, the supervisor has continued to maintain some level of “institutional control” by making sure s/he is comfortable with the communicated actions.  In each of these first three levels of empowerment, continuing one-on-one, face-to-face communication and the conversations that need to take place are absolutely critical. If the employee is determined to be ready, the next step in the process is assigned.

Level 4:
You research an assigned activity; you report what you intend to do; go ahead and do it unless I say “no.”  By this point in the process, the trust level has clearly increased between both parties. The subordinate has earned the right to move to this level of empowerment based on an understanding of the goals and objectives of the organization and his or her proven performance and identified ability to meet those goals and objectives.  Communication is still important at this level, but the reins of decision making responsibility are now being passed from the supervisor to the subordinate.

Level 5:
You research an assigned activity; you take the action you deem appropriate; report what you did. Subordinates are working independently of their supervisor, with the supervisor’s full knowledge and confidence based on the subordinate’s past proven ability and successes. The unencumbered performance of the subordinate, in turn, frees the supervisor to attend to other pressing issues.

This is the highest level of empowerment.  It is rarely earned and rarely granted–and then only to the best, most tested and most trusted subordinates.  With this level, both supervisor and subordinate share the risk of the empowered actions taken.

A few important observations to remember:

This is not an overnight process.  It requires vigilant communication, observation, evaluation and training. As previously discussed, empowerment is preceded and supported by significant and on-going coaching and counseling activities. This is not a “one-size-fits-all” process.  It requires customized activities for individual employees who may or may not accept empowerment in the same way or at the same rate as another employee. Appropriate empowerment levels are also dependent on individual jobs. In other words, a single employee may be at a Level 5 empowerment level for one task and the same employee at a Level 2 empowerment level for a different task. 

Creating a continuous flow of leadership talent from within our organizations can happen and happen effectively when those of us in leadership positions are willing to share our power with those individuals who demonstrate they are worthy of the challenge. 

• People respond differently than you hoped or   predicted?
• People become too emotional?
• People resist your communication efforts?

After considering these and other “What if…?” questions for a while, I came to the realization that none of us can predict with certainty what the outcome of any communication effort ultimately will be. We can know what we want the outcome to be. We can know what we have planned the outcome to be. We can even know what we have intentionally worked for the outcome to be. But in the end, we simply don’t control all the variables.

It was then that the sixth communication principle came into focus for me. I realized that whatever happens in the course of our communication efforts, good or bad, the people who are depending on us still expect us to do our jobs.

It is human nature to be drawn to those activities that excite us, inspire us and fulfill us. But life and work is not always exciting, inspiring and fulfilling. Sometimes you are called to rise above that which you wish you could avoid completely. All of your personal and professional activities can be enhanced as well if you simply commit yourself to doing your job and doing it at the highest level possible.

Here are three ideas on how to get better.

1.  When Doing Your Job…Strive to Become a Better Communicator

One way to become a better communicator is happening for you at this very moment-you’re reading and studying. Though reading this book or others is no guarantee that you will be ordained the next great communicator. It is, however, a wonderful step in the right direction. Self-study serves to prepare the mind and will for greater future accomplishment.

My intention here is not to burden you with a suggested reading list as long as your arm. If you are really interested in more reading materials related to communication skills enhancement, fifteen minutes spent in your local library, bookstore or online will provide you dozens of options. I will suggest one book in particular though that I think can be helpful to anyone at any stage of their life or career. Secure a copy today of Dale Carnegie’s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People. You won’t be sorry. It hasn’t sold millions of copies over the past sixty plus years by accident.

Remember, reading is great, but doing is better. If your desire is to be a better oral communicator, I highly recommend you enroll in one or both of the following. Dale Carnegie courses are available in every major city as are Toastmasters International clubs. Both are dedicated to helping develop the skills of those who wish to communicate orally with more confidence and expertise. I can assure you both will be money and time well spent.

2. When Doing Your Job…Work to Exceed Expectations

One of my mantras for life is “do more than is expected.” I have discovered that if you are constantly doing more than is expected, you will never again have to worry about evaluations, regardless of the form or fashion they might take.

As this concept applies to enhancing our communication skills, I suggest you look around and take inventory of the expectations people have of the various communicators in their life. If you are a teacher, pay close attention to other teachers and students. If you are a manager, pay close attention to other managers and employees. If you are a parent, pay close attention to other parents and children. If you are a member of the clergy, pay close attention to other spiritual shepherds and their flocks. Watch and listen. Gather up all the good ideas you can unearth and incorporate them into your communication “bag of tricks.” At the same time, notice the communication gaps that exist and that people are talking about. Then do everything you can to make sure you are not guilty of the same.

One other thing. Don’t wait for your boss, your spouse, your parent, your client or anyone else to challenge you to exceed their expectations. It probably won’t happen. Remember, they aren’t expecting much. The opportunity always exists for you to give them more.

3. When Doing Your Job…Never Give Up

I will make this last point short and sweet. Don’t you dare give up! Don’t ever allow yourself to be lured into thinking that your effort toward developing your interpersonal communication skills means little. Communicating person-to-person means everything. Where a communication void exists, rumors, assumptions, half-truths and perceptions creep in to fill it. There is no need for that to happen.

A quick recap of the six strategies for becoming a great communicator:

1.  Talk “with” people.
2.  Explain the process.
3.  Tell the truth.
4.  Work for understanding.
5.  Get others involved.
6.  Do your job.

A detailed discussion of each of these principles is available in my book, We Need to Talk.  The book is available at Amazon.com and on my website. If you are interested in discounts for volume purchases, please check the pricing details here.   

One of the best ways to get others involved is by asking a fairly open-ended question such as, “What would you like to see happen from this point forward?” or “If you had your way what direction would you have us go and why?”Not everyone will immediately embrace personal involvement. However, some will. And when they do choose to respond to the type of question offered above, it is very easy then to move to the next step. The next step involves extending a personal invitation to become more personally involved in the actions to be taken or decisions to be made.How many people around you are waiting for this invitation? Probably more than you think. But, you’ll never know for sure unless you ask.

When Getting Others Involved…Be Specific

When offering the chance to get others involved, too often the tendency is to leave the activity open-ended. That’s a bad idea. Few people will reach blindly into a bag unless they have some idea what is in that bag already. Not knowing creates fear, anxiety and hesitancy.It’s much better to tell people specifically what they are getting into and what is expected of them. As it relates to communication, specificity rules!

When Getting Others Involved…Recognize Success

Once you are successful in getting others more actively involved, there is one more key activity that should not be overlooked. Catch people doing things right and recognize their successes in every way possible.It takes courage to step out on faith and to take on additional responsibility. Over time, the more involved people become, the more communicative they become. Fewer problems occur when people are talking to one another. So, we should be doing all that is within our power to keep people talking.Show people what success looks like. Trumpet the successes that you are observing. Don’t wait for huge, “front page news” successes. Be just as quick to acknowledge and highlight the “look, we’ve made a little progress” successes, too.The personal involvement of others is a skill not easily mastered, but one that can pay significant future dividends.

Consider the following ways to work for understanding.

When Working for Understanding…Check the Pulse

There is always a right time and a wrong time, a right place and a wrong place, a right way and a wrong way to communicate. Great communicators are the ones who have come to realize that with successful interpersonal communication “one size does not fit all.” As a result they work to fashion a tailored, customized communication message for those who will be receiving it. To accomplish this, proactive communicators need to have their finger on the pulse of those who will be impacted (positively or negatively) by the communication offered.

Here are some questions to consider as you formulate the specific message to be conveyed.

• What are the key issues s/he is currently facing that can impact the reaction or response?
• Has s/he ever heard or dealt with this type of message before?
• If so, how has s/he reacted to it?
• How does this person handle good/bad news?
• What kind of things have we dealt with together in the past that could resurface (for good or bad) during our time of communication?

When Working for Understanding…Anticipate and Manage the Barriers

A major part of good one-on-one communication is being able to anticipate and manage the numerous barriers that continuously crop up throughout any focused communication effort. Consider the following categories of barriers and the proactive suggestions offered to avoid them.

Sender Barriers

• Intention. Any successful journey begins with a well-defined itinerary. Communication is no different. The originators of the communication-the senders-need to be crystal clear on the intention of the communication to follow. 

• Preparation. Once the intention is clear, the preparation must follow. Consciously prepare for who you will be speaking with, what you want to accomplish and how best to present your ideas or information so that they can be well-received by your intended audience.

• Singular Focus. So as not to confuse those to whom our message will be delivered, the primary focus must remain clear and uncluttered. Focus on the “first things first.” Don’t try to cover too much ground or mix too many varying messages. It confuses the receiver of the communication. 

• Timeliness. As the originator and sender of the message, do everything in your power to align and deliver the message in a timely fashion. A message received well in advance of its application is soon mentally discarded and forgotten. A messaged received too late is looked on with disdain.

• Opportunity to Vent. There is an emotional element to almost every message. As the originator of that message, it is imperative that you recognize that emotions and personal feelings are to be acknowledged and dealt with. As such, allowing receivers an opportunity to vent their thoughts and emotions adds to the value of the communication process.

• Accept Responsibility. As the sender of the communication, if and when you fail in some area of the communication process, be willing to accept responsibility for your failure quickly and publicly. Receivers will be much more apt to forgive and move forward when they recognize that you are accepting responsibility for your mistakes.

Message Barriers

• Isolate the Problem. Well meaning communication can often go awry when the intended message strays from the problem to the person. Expert communicators have learned to isolate the problem and separate it from the people involved. 

• Procrastination. On those occasions when it becomes necessary to communicate a message that is expected to be received negatively, too many communicators shrink from the challenge. They hope there will be a “better time” for such communication. Remember, “bad news does not get better with time.” Don’t procrastinate-communicate!• Communicate Expectations. Any message can be misconstrued if it remains unclear as to what is expected to happen next. As the originator of the communication, it is your responsibility to conclude every exchange with your own personal “call to action.” Make sure every person knows what is expected of them from that point forward.Environmental Barriers

• Appropriate Time. As a general rule, if you are communicating a message that will be well-received and roundly supported, it is better to share that information as early in the day, the week, the month as possible. The positive buzz can have a desirable after-effect on others.

• Privacy Matters. On the other hand, if you expect a message you are called to communicate might have a negative backlash, plan to communicate that message out of the sight of prying eyes and ears. It is better to deal with unpredictable emotions in private.

• Shut Down the “Grapevine.” Most organizations have some sort of informal, internal communication “grapevine” that too often dispenses rumors, speculation, innuendo and half-truths. Expert communicators can virtually shut down such grapevine communication by becoming known as the repository for dependable communication. Be proactive in making people’s unknowns-known.

When Working for Understanding…Inspect What You Expect

Even the best planned, best prepared and best delivered message can, on occasion, be misconstrued unintentionally. But how can you know that, short of waiting for the whole issue to blow up in your face at a later time and place? You can always “test your message.”

It’s fairly simple. Here’s what you do. Once you have communicated your intended message to the appropriate individual, before parting company you ask the following question, “I realize that I am not always the best communicator. I’m trying to get better. But, what we have just talked about is so important that I want to make sure that I have not done anything to confuse the message. Will you please tell me what you heard me say and what you know I am expecting as a result of our conversation today?”

Once you have asked this question, I suggest you stop and listen carefully to what is retold. Notice in the question above, I have worked hard to put the burden on the sender, not on the receiver of the message (i.e., “…I am not always the best communicator. I’m trying to get better…I want to make sure I have not done anything to confuse the message.”) Therefore, if, in the repeating of the message back to you, the receiver gets something in message wrong, be sure to accept the blame for the confusion. Example: “Did I say that you have $5,000 in your budget for the next quarter? Oh my, I meant to say $500. Thanks for catching my mistake. That could have been disastrous.”

In a nutshell, working for understanding always takes work–but it can also bear great results.

Principle 5 next time - Get Others Involved.

A detailed discussion of “working for understanding” is available in my new book, We Need to Talk: Building Trust When Communicating Gets Critical. 

We Need to Talk is available at Amazon.com and on my website.

If you are interested in discounts for volume purchases, please check the pricing details here.