- March 16, 2021
- Posted by: Alyson Van Hooser
- Category: Professionalism and Success
In order for you to build your confidence, you have to take correct, calculated, and consistent action. What actions should you take? Here are three practical tips!
3 Tips to Build Confidence
Does confidence feel like the answer or missing link between you and your goals? I believe some people are built naturally confident, other people must work to build confidence. As someone who has worked to build my own confidence, I’ve learned over time that confidence is more of a mindset than a feeling. When you set your mind right, you’ll start thinking and acting differently — more confidently. I’m a very practical person, so today I want to share with you three tips I’ve used to build my own confidence. I think they’ll help you, too!
1-Become the Expert
You can be confident and stupid, or you can be confident and an expert. A confident expert wins.
Joseph Allen Maldonado-Passage, AKA “Joe Exotic”, AKA “The Tiger King” (documentary on Netflix), was confident, to say the least. But he was also stupid. He made many bad decisions and now has a 22-year sentence in prison. Confident and stupid.
Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) launched 2-day shipping for Amazon Prime members in 2005. It was a risk, so he did his homework then moved forward confidently. He completely changed the retail and shipping game. Confident and an expert.
At work, look at the people around you, below you, and above you. Evaluate their knowledge. Become the expert on what they don’t know, but need to know. When you do that, for starters, you’ll make yourself invaluable to the organization. Secondly, creating expertise crushes fears. When you’ve worked to truly become the expert, then you’re less likely to be afraid to speak up about it. You build confidence when you become the expert. Side bonus, you’ll create opportunities for yourself. People will come looking for you so they can put your knowledge and skills to good work.
2-Focus on Them, Not You
If you’re feeling shy or intimidated, you’re making it about yourself. You’re worrying about what they think about your age, experience, past mistakes, your outfit, whatever! Shift your focus to them, not you. Focus on the fact that if you’re the expert, they need what you know. Show up and serve others. That’s what leaders should be doing at all times anyway!
Knees weak, palms sweaty, heart racing right before your big moment? What do you do? Move! You’re likely in “fight or flight” mode so give yourself a release.
I remember heading upstairs to my first bank board meeting to present to them a project I had been working on. Five minutes before the meeting, there wasn’t a dry spot on my body and I felt weak all over. I was incredibly nervous, anxious, you fill in the blank! As I started up the stairs, I checked off the boxes: Am I the expert on this topic? Yes. Do they need and will they benefit from this information? Yes. All the jitters were still there. So, when I got to the top of the stairs, I turned around, walked down, and walked back up. Then I did it again. And again. Finally at the top for the third time, I was a little out of breath, but my nerves were so much more chill.
Before your big moment, move. It’s good for your body, mind, soul, and confident appearance.
What Happens Next?
If you want to build confidence, choose to become the expert, focus on helping others instead of yourself, and take action regardless of your inhibitions. The internal feelings of confidence you desire to have, they will come with time. As you keep showing up confidently — even if you don’t feel confident yet — each additional experience will help you become more confident in yourself. Eventually, you’ll feel it. And, the more you show up and add value to other people, they will start becoming more confident in you, too. So, it’s time to get to work to become a more confident YOU!
Let’s learn from each other — what do you do to help calm nerves and increase your confidence? Share in the comments!